A bit of reflection

This is it.  I made it.  Finals are done, and I am eagerly awaiting my grades.  Unless my estimations regarding my performance this semester prove seriously off-target, I'm all done.  Gradgeee-ated.  Wow.  I had thought that with my years of work experience, and the countless friends I've watched graduate only to be disappointed that their lives weren't drastically altered (more money, job offers rolling in) by a college degree, that I was sufficiently jaded and would feel nothing at the close of my undergrad career.  How silly of me.  Of course after twelve years of "I'm almost done," and "I should be able to graduate in two semesters," or "Maybe I'll change my major to (insert field, I've considered them all)," there's going to be some emotion involved.  Mostly elation.  I had to celebrate after I finished my final by stopping for a celebratory beverage on my way home (at a liquor store, saved for later, of course - I could never get by with drinking during the day with all the kids I have).  I couldn't even decide what to buy.  I stuck with a six-pack of beer, because it's easy.  Wine or bourbon are equally welcome as graduation gifts, though, in case anyone's wondering.  :)

Tonight I'm able to follow through with my plans (or non-plans) that I was too tired to carry out last night.
     1. Drink aforementioned beer.  I'm on my second one now, and that will about do it for me.  I hope it
         doesn't show in the writing; please forgive me if I ramble even more than usual.
     2. Engage in completely meaningless/mindless web activities for undetermined amount of time.  Done.  I 
         spent at least a half an hour watching rap videos from the 90s on youtube. 
     3. Do some online Christmas shopping, since I've put off much of this until after my classes were all done.
     4. Make a final post to this blog.

  Now that I've done the first three, I can complete what feels like the final assignment to obtain my undergraduate degree.  This project has allowed me to reflect upon my long college career, what I have accomplished, what I feel good about.  I don't know how many times in the last couple of months I have uttered the phrase, "Yeah, it only took me twelve years," when telling someone I was back at WKU again and was almost finished.  I began my college career as a young mother, believing myself far wiser than my mere twenty years.  Of course I wasn't, and I'm sure I'm still a lot dumber than I think I am.  I have come a long way, though, and I think taking the time to really figure out why a college degree is important to me, and taking classes that I was able to enjoy and learn from, was the best route for me, even if it took a terribly long time.  As I mentioned before, until now I wasn't really ready to stick to one subject, and I wasn't terribly concerned with graduation, though I knew it would - it had to - happen one day, if only for my own peace of mind.  This winding path toward a Bachelor's Degree allowed me to learn about religions - from the snake-handling branch of the Pentecostals to the Peyote rituals of the Lakota Indians.  It had me in Geology class, ready to take up rock collecting again for the first time since I was eight.  This crazy twelve-year "program" of mine is the reason why my four-year old knows all her colors in Spanish.  I taught her that.  Finally, it allowed me to come full circle and realize how much I love literature and writing and that I can pursue a degree in that field, even if I don't want to be a teacher.

It's taken me twelve years to get to this point in my education.  Now that I'm here, I can honestly say that I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Stephen King Interview

I interviewed Stephen King tonight for a class project, and I wasn't even nervous.  It was a lot of fun, actually.  Much better than the powerpoint I decided at the last minute to scrap.  For Advanced Composition, we have to complete an oral presentation using slides with audio or video in lieu of a final exam.  I was almost finished - two hours before the deadline, of course - but I just wasn't happy with the results.  So, I decided to take my instructor up on her offer of an extension.  The only catch was that anyone who wanted the extra two days had to publicly request it on Blackboard's Discussion Board.  So, a bit of groveling was involved, but a two-day extension is definitely worth it.  I suppose it would be wise at this point to simply improve upon what I already have (the powerpoint), but that's no fun!  I'd much rather start all over!  Plus, as I mentioned, I get to interview Stephen King for video I'm planning to use.  Did I mention my husband bears a strong resemblance to Stephen King (a better-looking version of Stephen King, in my humble opinion)?  He's an awfully good sport.  Hopefully my teacher will appreciate his efforts - and mine.  Now if I can just get this stinkin video into the right format.  Wish me luck! 

Hello. My name is Amelia, and I'm a Procrastinator.

So, I suddenly remembered, as I do most Sundays, my poor little neglected blog.  I started thinking about procrastinating, and pondered (not for the first time) what it is about my personality that WILL NOT allow me to complete anything until the last possible minute.  I got this clever little idea for a post about how I need to start a "Procrastinators Anonymous," then realized that there probably really is such a thing.  Sure enough, procrastinators-anonymous.org has all the information a slacker needs to get on the punctuality wagon, should he so desire.  There are some pretty depressing blogs on there, too, let me tell ya...maybe a bit melodramatic, but who am I to judge?  I do know that the little bit I read was enough to make me want to do things the right way.  You know, leave the house on time so I don't have to grumble at everyone on the way out and for several miles down the road; complete my assignments as soon as possible instead of at 2 in the morning the night before the due date when I have to be up early to take care of little ones the next day....things like that.  I really do want to do better, at least on the surface, but it's hard to undo years of habit.  It makes me wonder if on some level I enjoy the drama I create by putting things off until the last minute.   The assignments, etc., that I have gotten done ahead of time (there aren't many - I remember each occasion), gave me a near-euphoric sense of accomplishment.  I must enjoy the drama somewhat, then.  At least enough to outweigh the good feeling of getting things done in a timely manner.  Of course another element of this equation is the time spent goofing off while procrastinating.  That surely is a bonus and almost makes the lack of sleep or the stress of arriving late worth it. 

Naturally I wonder how this personality trait relates to the fact that it's taken me twelve years to graduate from college?  Have I subconsciously prevented myself from finishing for fear that I will then have to be a grown-up?  Maybe I worry that I'll graduate and have nothing to show for it but a bunch of student loan debt?  Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be successful, or simply fear that I won't.  Maybe I've just been really stinkin' busy working, remodeling, being a wife and raising my kids.  Maybe I should stop pretending I'm a psychiatrist because I took a few psychology classes along the way.  Maybe I should've majored in psychology!  That's it!  I finally know what I want to do! 

Pretty crazy way to choose a major and/or career.  Still, when you're searching for your path, and you are an indecisive sort, it sometimes doesn't take much to lead you in a new direction, then somewhere else when that doesn't pan out.  Maybe I have attention deficit disorder!  One thing is quite clear.  I took just enough psychology to be dangerous (or at least annoying - just ask my husband). 

It's beginning to look a lot like...the end of the semester!

What a pleasant surprise to wake up to snow today!  Granted, it was just a light dusting, but it was enough to put me in the holiday spirit.  Snow is a perfect beginning for the Christmas season, and we'll take what we can get in the way of snow 'round these parts.  The change in the weather reminds me of other changes coming...my son will be turning thirteen next month (yikes), classes are almost over with finals just around the corner, and the next semester holds a new adventure for me - graduate-level courses!  Yep, I finally got registered for two English classes.  One is a writing workshop, the other, "The Romantic Movement," a literature course.  One writing, one literature seems to be a good balance, but I still don't know if it's a good idea (for me) to have two classes at once.  Right now, I can only work after about nine p.m. because that's when my kids are asleep.  It's hard to give your best when you're quite sleepy.  I'm sure some of my discussion board responses this semester have been a little hard to follow because I was only about 80% coherent as a result of sleep deprivation when I wrote them.  Next semester, however, will be a bit different.  For the first time in several years, I'll have to actually go to campus, park my car (sigh), and walk to a real building for class.  That may or may not work to my advantage.  Either way, I must admit to a bit of nervousness about this new venture.  I'm planning to pursue a Master's in English, and I hope anyone who may read this doesn't think "Girl, I've read your writing.  English?  Are you kidding?"  No, I'm not kidding.  English has always been easy for me, and while many subjects were fun, English is the one I always come back to when I consider my favorite classes.  So, I'm probably pretty rusty right now, as you may have noticed.  However, I really think this is the right path for me.  Since becoming an adult (legally, fourteen years ago; mentally, considerably later), I have said many times and for various reasons that had I just taken my dad's advice, things would have turned out much better.  My dad advised me when I first started college and was trying to choose a major just to pick something I like, not to worry about what job I think that major will or won't produce.  Well, as we adults all know, that's SOOOO true.  If I had listened at the time, instead of thinking, "I really love English, but I don't want to be a teacher...." I would never have become involved in the BIS program.  I might have had a clear path to graduation and not taken so long to finish up (this, of course, is debatable).  On the other hand, I would not have taken so many really cool classes, I wouldn't be able to speak Spanish (stilted and slow though my speech may be), and I would have missed out on a lot of really cool experiences along the way.  By studying "Humanities" instead of narrowing my focus to simply "English," I gave myself a broader lens for viewing the world.  I will be able to grow old more gracefully because I understand and will not buy into our society's image of beauty that tries to keep women powerless, thanks to "Psychology of Women," among others.  I know how to do a decent charcoal drawing and discuss the difference between Impressionism and Cubism because of my Art Classes.  And, I understand that the way our country structures its involvement in world affairs is nothing new thanks to my history classes.  I am glad I chose the path I did, and now I'm glad to have a more focused path ahead of me.  Looking back, I still think ol' Dad's advice was good.   For me, though, the time just wasn't right to settle down and study one subject.  I needed some time to figure "me" out first.  I guess after twelve years it's about time make the commitment and give my loyalty to my first love, academically speaking.  English, I'm all yours. 

I love registering for classes.  I usually start well in advance of the first actual registration date, searching through the available courses, taking detailed notes about the ones I might like.  I've always gotten excited about choosing classes, especially in the early days of my college career.  Back then, I'd trek over to Potter Hall and pick up my bulletin, hot off the press, its ink staining my hands.  I could hardly wait to bust out the highlighter and start choosing my classes.  First, of course, I'd highlight my "priority registration date" and commit it to memory.  When the big day arrived, I'd hit the phones - yep, we did it by phone - as early as possible to avoid the dreaded busy signal.  I can't believe that's the way we used to register.  Imagine before that, some students actually doing it - heaven forbid - on paper?!?!  The horror.  Obviously I am the type who prefers to hide in her cave and avoid human contact, so online classes are perfect for me.  I was hooked after my first one, Human Nutrition, but I didn't really take many more until I switched my major to Interdisciplinary Studies.  Before that I was a Spanish Major and there's not much you can do with that online.  Back to the registration, though.  This semester I was especially excited about choosing classes, because I planned to register for my first graduate courses!  Browsing through the available classes, I realized my long stint with online education would be coming to a close.  Even that couldn't dampen my enthusiasm, though, as I clicked the button that would place me on the roster of a 500-level course!  What did dampen my enthusiasm was the message from Topnet that I am not allowed to register for these classes.  What?  Why?  I meet the requirements; I can do it, I promise!  I'll pay attention to my due dates and plan thoughtful responses before I speak up in class.  I'll act like a grad student, really!  I'm definitely old enough to be a grad student.  Ha.  So, I contacted the head of the English department, though looking back, that seems like a silly place to start.  She directed me to the Graduate Studies Department.  The nice person who answers the phone there told me I have to apply for admission to Graduate Studies as a non-degree seeking student.  Then I'll be able to register for the classes I want.  So I'm getting closer to being able to register.  Now if I can just make it through this semester...

Beelzebub's Got Nothin' on Me

Last weekend was a bust. It actually started around Thursday, carried on through the weekend and did manage to lighten up a bit during this past week.  I felt edgy, grumpy and unfocused.  I could blame hormones, I guess, but countless other women are out there functioning every day, hormones and all.  I suppose it's just me.  I was in enough of a funk that I just could not answer my discussion board question, the one I was really kind of excited about at first because it was a topic I wanted to discuss.  We're reading Paradise Lost right now; not exactly light reading, but I felt prepared.  So why did it take me THREE HOURS to explain how the demons' natures are revealed in their speeches?  I kept doing it over and over again, and when I'd finally eked out a puny, barely 200-word response (I needed 300 words), I clicked submit to find that I'd been logged out.  GRRRR.  The joys of online classes.  I was feeling a little like a demon myself at this point.  I believe that was Friday night.  Saturday night, too late to do anything about it, I reviewed my course schedule for the seven thousandth time to discover that I had a paper due - the next day.  Actually, the due date was Monday at noon, but that means Sunday night for me.  There's no way I'm getting anything done on a Monday morning that doesn't involve finger foods, crayons, or potty training.  So, my plan to go to the library the next day never materialized, much like most of my weekend plans.  Sometimes I almost long for weekdays just so I know what to expect - wow, that's terrible.  Sunday night I began searching for articles without much luck.  I still had that feeling of treading water but barely keeping my head up that I was feeling while trying to do the Paradise Lost post Friday night.  Finally, at about one in the morning, with NOTHING accomplished, I emailed my professor to let her know what was going on and that she might not see a paper from me.  I calculated my grade and discovered that if I didn't submit the paper my grade would go from a low "A" to a high "D".  Ick.  I need a B in this class to make it count toward admission to Graduate Studies in English.  It's not going to look too good for me to have a "D" in an English Class if I want to get a Master's in English, now, is it?  Anyway, the email to my professor was probably some ridiculous, groveling epistle.  I'm not sure because I've blocked it from my memory.  She kindly responded to my email the next morning that a recent announcement on Blackboard informed the class that the paper's due date had been changed to nearly two weeks later.  Hallelujah, and man, do I look stupid.  Oh well, better to look stupid and still have an "A," right?  Note to self: write revisions on class calendar next time, and start projects well in advance, in case of temporary mental lapses.

Is not this incorrect?

My Advanced Composition classmates and I are in the middle of revisions for our second paper of the semester.  We're required to critique/edit our group members' work in the second round of the process.  The class followed the same procedure for the first paper earlier this semester, when one of my proofreaders suggested, or instructed, I refrain from using contractions.  She went so far as to point out, in red, each of the contractions in my paper so I could eliminate them.  The issue came up again on Paper 2, and I decided to confront it.  I asked the red inker, and another of my fellow group members who seemed to be anti-contraction as well, why they don't use contractions.  Since I haven't had a writing class in several years, it was very possible I was missing something here.  I got one response.  My classmate said that her last writing teacher likened the use of contractions to writing with abbreviations and acronyms like WTF or OMG because it slows down the flow of the writing.  Sorry, I fail to see the similarity there.  Actually, I think it has the opposite effect when you don't use contractions at all.  It sounds stiff and fake, like the quote one of the aforementioned classmates used in her paper: "It is okay"  That was a mother comforting her daughter - a real mom, not a robot.  It just doesn't sound right to me.  I realize I probably should not - SHOULDN'T - be so bothered by this, but I am.  If these gals are right, though I'm pretty sure they're not, it will affect everything I write from now on.  So, I researched a little, checked the OWL, and only found any question about it when writing business or formal material.  Even then it's best to use some contractions, "judiciously," I believe they said, and when it prevents the piece sounding too stilted and formal.  I suppose I'll post something on the topic in the "questions and answers" folder on discussion board and see what the instructor says.  I could just let it go, but I'm unlikely to do so until someone tells me (and maybe my classmates) that I'm right.  ; )