A bit of reflection

This is it.  I made it.  Finals are done, and I am eagerly awaiting my grades.  Unless my estimations regarding my performance this semester prove seriously off-target, I'm all done.  Gradgeee-ated.  Wow.  I had thought that with my years of work experience, and the countless friends I've watched graduate only to be disappointed that their lives weren't drastically altered (more money, job offers rolling in) by a college degree, that I was sufficiently jaded and would feel nothing at the close of my undergrad career.  How silly of me.  Of course after twelve years of "I'm almost done," and "I should be able to graduate in two semesters," or "Maybe I'll change my major to (insert field, I've considered them all)," there's going to be some emotion involved.  Mostly elation.  I had to celebrate after I finished my final by stopping for a celebratory beverage on my way home (at a liquor store, saved for later, of course - I could never get by with drinking during the day with all the kids I have).  I couldn't even decide what to buy.  I stuck with a six-pack of beer, because it's easy.  Wine or bourbon are equally welcome as graduation gifts, though, in case anyone's wondering.  :)

Tonight I'm able to follow through with my plans (or non-plans) that I was too tired to carry out last night.
     1. Drink aforementioned beer.  I'm on my second one now, and that will about do it for me.  I hope it
         doesn't show in the writing; please forgive me if I ramble even more than usual.
     2. Engage in completely meaningless/mindless web activities for undetermined amount of time.  Done.  I 
         spent at least a half an hour watching rap videos from the 90s on youtube. 
     3. Do some online Christmas shopping, since I've put off much of this until after my classes were all done.
     4. Make a final post to this blog.

  Now that I've done the first three, I can complete what feels like the final assignment to obtain my undergraduate degree.  This project has allowed me to reflect upon my long college career, what I have accomplished, what I feel good about.  I don't know how many times in the last couple of months I have uttered the phrase, "Yeah, it only took me twelve years," when telling someone I was back at WKU again and was almost finished.  I began my college career as a young mother, believing myself far wiser than my mere twenty years.  Of course I wasn't, and I'm sure I'm still a lot dumber than I think I am.  I have come a long way, though, and I think taking the time to really figure out why a college degree is important to me, and taking classes that I was able to enjoy and learn from, was the best route for me, even if it took a terribly long time.  As I mentioned before, until now I wasn't really ready to stick to one subject, and I wasn't terribly concerned with graduation, though I knew it would - it had to - happen one day, if only for my own peace of mind.  This winding path toward a Bachelor's Degree allowed me to learn about religions - from the snake-handling branch of the Pentecostals to the Peyote rituals of the Lakota Indians.  It had me in Geology class, ready to take up rock collecting again for the first time since I was eight.  This crazy twelve-year "program" of mine is the reason why my four-year old knows all her colors in Spanish.  I taught her that.  Finally, it allowed me to come full circle and realize how much I love literature and writing and that I can pursue a degree in that field, even if I don't want to be a teacher.

It's taken me twelve years to get to this point in my education.  Now that I'm here, I can honestly say that I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Stephen King Interview

I interviewed Stephen King tonight for a class project, and I wasn't even nervous.  It was a lot of fun, actually.  Much better than the powerpoint I decided at the last minute to scrap.  For Advanced Composition, we have to complete an oral presentation using slides with audio or video in lieu of a final exam.  I was almost finished - two hours before the deadline, of course - but I just wasn't happy with the results.  So, I decided to take my instructor up on her offer of an extension.  The only catch was that anyone who wanted the extra two days had to publicly request it on Blackboard's Discussion Board.  So, a bit of groveling was involved, but a two-day extension is definitely worth it.  I suppose it would be wise at this point to simply improve upon what I already have (the powerpoint), but that's no fun!  I'd much rather start all over!  Plus, as I mentioned, I get to interview Stephen King for video I'm planning to use.  Did I mention my husband bears a strong resemblance to Stephen King (a better-looking version of Stephen King, in my humble opinion)?  He's an awfully good sport.  Hopefully my teacher will appreciate his efforts - and mine.  Now if I can just get this stinkin video into the right format.  Wish me luck! 

Hello. My name is Amelia, and I'm a Procrastinator.

So, I suddenly remembered, as I do most Sundays, my poor little neglected blog.  I started thinking about procrastinating, and pondered (not for the first time) what it is about my personality that WILL NOT allow me to complete anything until the last possible minute.  I got this clever little idea for a post about how I need to start a "Procrastinators Anonymous," then realized that there probably really is such a thing.  Sure enough, procrastinators-anonymous.org has all the information a slacker needs to get on the punctuality wagon, should he so desire.  There are some pretty depressing blogs on there, too, let me tell ya...maybe a bit melodramatic, but who am I to judge?  I do know that the little bit I read was enough to make me want to do things the right way.  You know, leave the house on time so I don't have to grumble at everyone on the way out and for several miles down the road; complete my assignments as soon as possible instead of at 2 in the morning the night before the due date when I have to be up early to take care of little ones the next day....things like that.  I really do want to do better, at least on the surface, but it's hard to undo years of habit.  It makes me wonder if on some level I enjoy the drama I create by putting things off until the last minute.   The assignments, etc., that I have gotten done ahead of time (there aren't many - I remember each occasion), gave me a near-euphoric sense of accomplishment.  I must enjoy the drama somewhat, then.  At least enough to outweigh the good feeling of getting things done in a timely manner.  Of course another element of this equation is the time spent goofing off while procrastinating.  That surely is a bonus and almost makes the lack of sleep or the stress of arriving late worth it. 

Naturally I wonder how this personality trait relates to the fact that it's taken me twelve years to graduate from college?  Have I subconsciously prevented myself from finishing for fear that I will then have to be a grown-up?  Maybe I worry that I'll graduate and have nothing to show for it but a bunch of student loan debt?  Maybe I feel like I don't deserve to be successful, or simply fear that I won't.  Maybe I've just been really stinkin' busy working, remodeling, being a wife and raising my kids.  Maybe I should stop pretending I'm a psychiatrist because I took a few psychology classes along the way.  Maybe I should've majored in psychology!  That's it!  I finally know what I want to do! 

Pretty crazy way to choose a major and/or career.  Still, when you're searching for your path, and you are an indecisive sort, it sometimes doesn't take much to lead you in a new direction, then somewhere else when that doesn't pan out.  Maybe I have attention deficit disorder!  One thing is quite clear.  I took just enough psychology to be dangerous (or at least annoying - just ask my husband).